Jessie’s Reading Journey

Hi everyone! I’m Jessie, I’m 21 years old, and I have loved reading from the very beginning of my life.

I still remember the grief I felt when my parents stopped reading me bedtime stories, and I was always most excited to receive books on my birthdays and at Christmas. There was a specific book series I craved so badly for a long time: Princess Poppy by Janey Louise Jones. For some reason I thought it was this rare, hard-to-get series that I would never be able to get my hands on. I dreamt about it showing up under the desk I had in my bedroom, like a magical gift  left just for me by some wish-granting spirit. Eventually, my mum bought me the full series and it was probably one of the happiest days of my life. I devoured it. My favourites were Princess Poppy: Fairytale Princess and Princess Poppy: The Haunted Holiday. I especially adored the latter, in which Poppy stayed in a haunted mansion. I still to this day LOVE any book/film/show with secret passageways.

Two recurring authors of my childhood were Enid Blyton and Jacqueline Wilson. I read books from two of Blyton’s beloved series, St Clare’s and The Famous Five, and absolutely adored them both. The Famous Five books were peak escapism to me as a kid. I daydreamed to no end about accompanying Julian, Dick, Anne and George on their many adventures. My favourite of their stories was Five Go To Smuggler’s Top, the one with, surprise, surprise, secret passageways. The St Clare’s series really made me want to go to boarding school, a dream I kind of got to live out when I went to university. And every time I have a midnight feast I think of those books. If you know, you know.

I never got to read enough of Wilson’s. In fairness, she did have so many. There was something about the darkness of Wilson’s books that felt very alluring, probably because they had a realness and a vulnerability that other children’s books just did not have. My mum was very shocked when I read her excerpts from Dustbin Baby and she wanted me to stop reading it altogether. But I couldn’t. I wouldn’t say I even loved the book, but it definitely captivated me. Another of hers that has stuck with me is Midnight. A very strange, trippy book. I don’t remember much about it other than the main character playing with her brother at the beginning. I think the brother was cruel to her and then there were bats? All I know is that every now and then, images from that scene flash through my mind like an old, forgotten dream.

More of my favourite books from childhood include:

-          Rose by Holly Webb (a dark story about a magical orphan).

-          The Tiara Club series by Vivian French (I have fond memories of my dad reading this entire series to me when I was a young child).

-          Fairy Dust and Fairy Dreams by Gwyneth Rees (can you tell I loved stories about fairies and princesses? (I still do)).

In my teen years, I read, as you’d expect, a lot of YA. The first YA I ever read is still one of my favourite books now, though I couldn’t tell you if it has stood the test of time because I have only read it once.

My Life Next Door by Huntley Fitzpatrick is a forbidden (one of my favourite tropes) summer romance about 17 year-old Samantha, who lives with her straight-laced mother and dreams of living a very different life. Then, a new family moves in right next door. A messy, chaotic family full of kids of different ages, including 17 year-old Jase. One night, Jase climbs up the trellis to sit with Samantha on her roof, and, from there, everything changes. I couldn’t put it down. It was funny and pretty deep and had a lot of lovable characters. The romance at the heart of the story was also very swoon-worthy, but I remember also just loving spending time with Samantha as she went about her life. Such a comforting summer read.

I also loved:

-          Underwater by Marisa Reichardt (the story of a teenage girl struggling with anxiety and PTSD with a beautiful romance subplot (don’t worry – he doesn’t fix all her problems for her)).

-          We Were Liars by E. Lockhart (a very poetic, lyrical story of a girl trying to figure out why her whole family is lying to her. Best not to go in knowing more than that).

-          I Was Here by Gayle Foreman (I think about this book all the time. Wonderful exploration of grief, friendship, and one of the best YA romance subplots I have ever read!).

As an adult, I read a large range of works. I’m not big on short stories (though I do like to write them) and I don’t typically gravitate towards non-fiction, but there aren’t many genres of fiction I wouldn’t try out. From the reading I’ve done, which isn’t as much as you’d think because I read at an extremely slow pace, I have discovered some common denominators amongst my favourite books, things I typically love. My top five favourite books each contain: introspective characters, first-person narration, and some sort of very sad aspect. Several but not all of these five books include a sub-plot of romance, characters with wild imaginations, and deep friendships.

With short reviews and no spoilers, out of all the books I’ve ever read in my life, here is a list of my top five favourite books of all time:

5. The Outsiders by S. E. Hinton (YA fiction)

This book follows 14-year-old Ponyboy and his friends, the Greasers, and their rivalry with the Soc’s. I read this book in February of last year. It was a little slow to begin with, likely because I was slumping then too, but I quickly became invested. By the end of Chapter Four, I was pretty hooked. It’s a story full of adventure, with friendship and brotherhood at its heart. I love stories like this, with loveable characters who are ride-or-die for each other. At first, my favourite character was Johnny, the injured puppy of the group. And actually, my least favourite to begin with was Dally. But as the book went on, I grew to love Dally so much, and he had, by the end, become my favourite. The Outsiders is a moving tale of the friendship between a young group of boys who have nothing much in the world except each other. It is so beautiful, and so heartbreaking. The most special thing in this book for me was the undying friendship between the Greasers, the way they love each other like brothers and always have each other’s backs.

4. If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin (YA romance)

Okay. This one made me cry so hard I felt like I was going to be sick. I read this in July a couple years back but it’s honestly a perfect read for the colder months. This is another absolutely heartbreaking book, but just on another level of pain for me. I can’t tell you why, since this is a non-spoiler review, but if you like sad books and you haven’t read this one yet, you definitely should. It follows Autumn and Finny, who used to be inseparable friends but grew apart as teenagers. Now, Autumn tries not to think of Finny too much, but his presence in her life is unavoidable. It’s a story about an aspiring writer with depression coming to realise what she truly wants, and trying to be brave enough to go after it. I also love the way this book was written: full of angst and emotion. It felt extremely realistic and I saw lots of myself in Autumn. I will never forget this book, for all its pain and tenderness.

3. Lie With Me by Philippe Besson (general/literary fiction based on real events)

Oh my god. I read this on holiday two years ago and it destroyed me. This is probably the most beautifully written book I have ever read. My copy is full of highlighted quotes. This book is about Philippe and Thomas, two boys who fall in love in the 80s amidst the AIDS crisis. I couldn’t capture the weight of this book if I tried. It’s only 148 pages, but it left such an impression on me. Sometimes I flip through the book just to re-read my favourite passages, to revisit all the beautiful ways Besson describes human emotion. He talks about how devastating it can feel to be in love with someone, to be in awe of them, to feel inferior to them. While I do not share Besson’s experiences, in a lot of ways, I still deeply related to this book. It was like Besson looked inside my heart and poured it over the pages. And if you’ve read it, then you’ll understand what I’m referencing when I say that the photo Philippe took of Thomas absolutely ruined me. And that final page!!!!! Best final page I have ever read. So unbelievably heartbreaking, possibly the most heartbreaking story I have ever encountered.

“This feeling of love, it transports me, it makes me happy. At the same time, it consumes me and makes me miserable, the way all impossible loves are miserable”. (p17)“

He says that he can no longer be alone with this feeling. That it hurts him too much.” (p23)“

When Thomas disappears around the corner of the gym, I am seven years old again.” (p34)“

He says I’m a boy of books, from somewhere else.” (p45)“

Though my father never reads books, he’s read yours.” (p117)

2. Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro (dystopian/sci-fi)

This is definitely a book that’s better to read if you go in blind. So, I’ll just briefly summarise what it says on the back: Kathy H reflects on her time at Hailsham school, where not everything is as it seems. For me, this was such a deeply interesting book, one that poses questions about humans and their morals. I read this during COVID and had a very unique experience with it. Never Let Me Go does what Ishiguro does best: exploring memory, another of my favourite things to read about and something I include in my own work. Because of this book, I ended up delving deep into my own memories and discovering my earliest ever one! It was absolutely crazy, to be honest. I have never read a book that has made me think quite so much. I highly recommend if you’re a thoughtful person who wants to be a better human in any way you can.

1.The Catcher In The Rye by J. D. Salinger (classic fiction)

So, why is The Catcher In The Rye my number one favourite book of all time? I guess ultimately it comes down to the feelings it has stirred in me: sadness, happiness, longing. I went into this book completely blind and I recommend you do the same. All I can really say without giving anything away, is that the reason this book is my favourite of all time is because I related SO. HARD. Holden, the protagonist, feels like a friend to me. He knows how I feel, or at least how I felt when I was 16 (when I read it), he thinks like me, he feels alone, he’s in pain, he has a huge heart, and he makes me laugh out loud. This book was everything I needed when I read it, and every time I think about it I think of how well Salinger captures the frantic, desperate mind of someone who feels alone and just wants to connect. One of my absolute favourite moments is when you find out where the book gets its title. My god, so beautiful. I loved every single minute I spent with this book.

Whilst writing these short reviews I have realised that in the future I must dedicate a separate blog post to each of these five books so that I can review them in more depth and include spoilers. There, I will detail all my thoughts towards each book, why they mean so much to me, with lots of my favourite quotes. So stay tuned for that! I hope you enjoyed learning about my reading journey and I can’t wait to continue it on this blog with all of you!

Happy reading!

Love, Jessie.